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Zone 2 - Expressing feelings

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a4cLet’s say you have got hold of some important meanings and feelings.

What are you going to do about them?

Probably you will fall into one of two groups, approximately equal in size.

Group 1

You have got hold of some feelings and you can see they are important.  You can see that you need to recognize them more clearly and not ignore them.  That may feel enough.  Now you recognize them it is clear to you that you need to speak them out or act differently and not put them into the body.

Or you may be clear about the feelings and now you see that you need to resolve something important.  You need to confront somebody, or take long overdue action, or keep on expressing the feelings to an important person.

This may also be enough to allow symptoms to subside.  If you are in this group you may do quite well in respect of your physical symptoms.  Illness Explorer may be all you need for the moment.

Note some people in this group get their symptoms back partly because they achieved symptom relief without making the substantial changes which tend to give more solid relief.

If you are in this group you may benefit more substantially by working with a counselor to consolidate the gains you are making.

Group 2

a4dYou may fall into the other half who know that story is important for their health problems but you are finding it hard to know what to do from here.  You have done very well to get this far.  But you may start to get frustrated at this point.  You may feel just a bit lost.  You may see some of the issues rather vaguely, but still know that there are meanings and feelings which may be important to your health problems.

You may not be able to see the meanings clearly, or perhaps the feelings area seems just too hard.  Perhaps you see things very clearly but doing something about the feelings is just too hard.  You may be in relationships that leave little room at the moment to do things differently.  You may be scared of change.  You may be afraid that you will make things worse.  If any of these things apply to you are the case then our recommendation is that you get some extra help for a time.

We have had hundreds of people in this situation.  Our approach is to recommend some work with a counselor or therapist who has some sympathy for the connections between illness and story.  You could perhaps ask around as to who is available and competent.  Don’t be afraid to say clearly what you are wanting.  Tell the person you are working on the relationship between the important things happening in your life and your health problem.

Tell them you have been working with Illness Explorer.  Maybe they would look at Illness Explorer and then telephone you back.  You may like to print out some of the stories from Illness Explorer and ask the counselor what he/she thinks about them.

Perhaps you could also say you are having trouble clarifying your meanings, or trouble sorting out your feelings, or knowing what to do with them.  Any well-trained counselor or therapist should be competent to help from here.  See what reaction you get—this should help you decide whether the counselor may be suitable.

[thesis_block type="note" header="KEY POINT:" content="There is a limit to what Illness Explorer can offer. Many of us need more personal help, a guide as well as a map. If we have got you started down a useful, healing pathway we are delighted. Don’t be afraid to use a counselor to consolidate and facilitate progress."]

a33

How Could a Counselor or Therapist Help Me?

1.   These professionals are trained to pick up meanings and feelings which tend to be neglected.

2.   They are trained to work in a way which makes it safe and easier to explore these meanings and feelings.

3.   The relationship between you and the counselor is quite unique.  It is confidential, but more than that, it is a place where we can express the important feelings without fear of difficult reaction.  Counseling is often the first place where we can safely explore what to do with the feelings.

4.   The counselor will have ideas as to what you might do to change a situation, and will support you through such changes.  It can be just too difficult on our own.

5.   A good counselor appreciates the complexity, depth, and richness of human experience and will not trivialize your exploration or reduce it down to a band-aid solution which does not finally do the job well.

6.   A good counselor will hold the tension between mind and body.  What we mean is that the counselor will be confident enough to keep working with you on the story aspects even while your doctor is working on the physical aspects.

<<PREVIOUS     |     NEXT>>

<<PREVIOUS     |     NEXT>>

a4c

Let’s say you have got hold of some important meanings and feelings.

What are you going to do about them?

Probably you will fall into one of two groups, approximately equal in size.

Group 1

You have got hold of some feelings and you can see they are important.  You can see that you need to recognize them more clearly and not ignore them.  That may feel enough.  Now you recognize them it is clear to you that you need to speak them out or act differently and not put them into the body.

Or you may be clear about the feelings and now you see that you need to resolve something important.  You need to confront somebody, or take long overdue action, or keep on expressing the feelings to an important person.

This may also be enough to allow symptoms to subside.  If you are in this group you may do quite well in respect of your physical symptoms.  Illness Explorer may be all you need for the moment.

Note some people in this group get their symptoms back partly because they achieved symptom relief without making the substantial changes which tend to give more solid relief.

If you are in this group you may benefit more substantially by working with a counselor to consolidate the gains you are making.

Group 2

a4d

You may fall into the other half who know that story is important for their health problems but you are finding it hard to know what to do from here.  You have done very well to get this far.  But you may start to get frustrated at this point.  You may feel just a bit lost.  You may see some of the issues rather vaguely, but still know that there are meanings and feelings which may be important to your health problems.

You may not be able to see the meanings clearly, or perhaps the feelings area seems just too hard.  Perhaps you see things very clearly but doing something about the feelings is just too hard.  You may be in relationships that leave little room at the moment to do things differently.  You may be scared of change.  You may be afraid that you will make things worse.  If any of these things apply to you are the case then our recommendation is that you get some extra help for a time.

We have had hundreds of people in this situation.  Our approach is to recommend some work with a counselor or therapist who has some sympathy for the connections between illness and story.  You could perhaps ask around as to who is available and competent.  Don’t be afraid to say clearly what you are wanting.  Tell the person you are working on the relationship between the important things happening in your life and your health problem.

Tell them you have been working with Illness Explorer.  Maybe they would look at Illness Explorer and then telephone you back.  You may like to print out some of the stories from Illness Explorer and ask the counselor what he/she thinks about them.

Perhaps you could also say you are having trouble clarifying your meanings, or trouble sorting out your feelings, or knowing what to do with them.  Any well-trained counselor or therapist should be competent to help from here.  See what reaction you get—this should help you decide whether the counselor may be suitable.

KEY POINT

There is a limit to what Illness Explorer can offer. Many of us need more personal help, a guide as well as a map. If we have got you started down a useful, healing pathway we are delighted. Don’t be afraid to use a counselor to consolidate and facilitate progress.

How Could a Counselor or Therapist Help Me?

1.   These professionals are trained to pick up meanings and feelings which tend to be neglected.

2.   They are trained to work in a way which makes it safe and easier to explore these meanings and feelings.

3.   The relationship between you and the counselor is quite unique.  It is confidential, but more than that, it is a place where we can express the important feelings without fear of difficult reaction.  Counseling is often the first place where we can safely explore what to do with the feelings.

4.   The counselor will have ideas as to what you might do to change a situation, and will support you through such changes.  It can be just too difficult on our own.

5.   A good counselor appreciates the complexity, depth, and richness of human experience and will not trivialize your exploration or reduce it down to a band-aid solution which does not finally do the job well.

6.   A good counselor will hold the tension between mind and body.  What we mean is that the counselor will be confident enough to keep working with you on the story aspects even while your doctor is working on the physical aspects.

<<PREVIOUS     |     NEXT>>

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